Someone far wittier than I ever was once remarked that “the ability to play chess is a sign of refinement, but the ability to play chess well is a sign of a wasted life.” I was never all that good at Chess; I was on the Chess team back at Moravian, but I was the weakest link. Nor am I all that proficient in German, not as much as you may expect from someone who wrote his undergrad thesis on 19th-century German society and routinely had to sing in German for the University Choir.
Naturally, because I’m the most pretentious man currently alive, the title of today’s diary entry is a German chess term. Zugzwang is a fancy way of saying that all your options are crap, that every possible move will worsen your position, yet you must move. Today’s the first day of the Spring Semester here at Drexel Kline, and I must say I’m glad to be back. I’ve been repeating “could have been better, could have been worse” like a robot all day, but the truth is that it just could have been better. Kerry and I broke up on NYD after an incredibly stressful holiday season. I harbor absolutely no ill will towards her, and for now, we’ve managed to remain friends. Neither of us is a bad person, but we weren’t bringing out the best in each other, and the holidays made it clear we couldn’t keep going like that.
It’s been a rough week until now. I focused so much of my time and energy on Kerry this past year that I neglected myself and the connections I should have been making here in Philly. Unfortunately, that neglect bit me in the rear as I adjusted to being on my own for the first time in what feels like forever, especially in not developing ties with others. I was trapped with my thoughts, and they just kept getting louder and louder as the week progressed. I would argue that this past weekend was worse than when Kerry and I broke up, since my Big Thoughts™ and Big Feelings™ just kept building until I was overwhelmed. I genuinely felt like I was drowning.
Actually, speaking as someone who almost ended up claimed by Neptune when I visited the PNW in 2023, this was considerably worse than drowning.
It’s been good to be back on campus, back on a routine, with familiar faces who hopefully can become friends. My New Year’s Resolution was to work on my physical and mental health. Physically, I’m improving tremendously. I’m down to how much I weighed in my senior year of high school, and I’ve noticed marked improvements in my flexibility. But mentally… well, I guess we’ll have to wait and see. On that note, I’m a 1L Rep for the Mental Health Law Society here at Drexel Kline. Feel free to insert a trite joke about inmates running the asylum here. Regardless, I hope I can do some good on campus and engage more with my fellow Dragons.
Speaking of Dragons, and Dungeons, I’m disappointed by the closure of Redcap’s Corner. I considered myself fortunate to have a game store a five-minute walk from my apartment, and I began playing AD&D (1e) there on Thursdays. But the owner of Redcap’s grew tired of running the same store for so many years and sold it. The store will probably reopen in a few weeks under new management, but it’s not guaranteed that the AD&D game will resume. An acquaintance of mine, whom I sometimes sit with in the LRC, is running a table, but last I heard, it’s full. I currently plan to attend the Philly Gaming Expo this weekend for my 25th, but given the circumstances, I suspect it will be an interesting time.
Anyway, I have LegReg with Prof. Greene in about fifteen minutes, so once the Crim people let out of 240, I’m gonna head in there. In unrelated news, I can’t for the life of me bring this entry back to the underlying theme of Zugzwang, but no one reads this blog anyway, so who cares?
Sierpinski Tetrahedron 