Thursday Afternoon
I just got back from the coffeehouse. It’s a bright, brisk day, and I guzzled around fifty-ish ounces of cold brew and a can of La Croix which tasted like having passionfruit described to me. There is so much caffeine in my system that if I want to keep being productive I have to let some of it process first. My heart is audibly beating, every color is saturated, and I feel the warmth of God’s presence.
Spring break is proceeding better than I was expecting but not as well as I’d have necessarily liked. On Tuesday I went over to Media, had some Dim Sum, watched The Cabin In The Woods (dir. Drew Goddard, 2011) and the opening sequence of Final Destination Bloodlines (dirs. Lipovsky/Stein, 2025). As much as I usually revile anything touched by Joss Whedon, I actually quite liked the former. I’ve spent the past two days on the #grind, trying my darnedest to get myself ready for 1L Summer and my Legal Methods brief in shape.
I’ve been trying to reconnect with my friends. Emphasis on trying. Not sure if I’ll succeed but it’s a noble experiment regardless. This upcoming weekend might be packed with Things and Stuff, possibly even Whatever. I hope it is, I need to keep myself occupied lest the usual happen.
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Friday Afternoon
It’s been around a day since I wrote that. I’ve been obnoxiously peppy, which beats being obnoxiously morose but isn’t necessarily good. I’ve been very productive, bordering on counterproductive with how many tasks I keep piling on. I’m excessively talkative, somewhat anxious but also easily excitable. Every color is brighter, every sound sweeter, louder, the world grows oversaturated. Time has started to lose meaning. I made a lovely penne and veggies in a spicy tomato cream sauce last night, and had some left over this morning. It got decent engagement on Instagram and wherever I shamelessly promoted it. Like my singing voice I get my sauce-making abilities from my mom.
I’m almost certainly spamming the new group chat too much, making up for lost time I suppose. Still, this boundless, unfocused energy is better than being drained and grey and unable to do anything. Part of me feels like I could fight God and win, or at least draw blood. My apartment hasn’t been this tidy in several weeks, if I’m unable to find anything to do I’ll chug a White Monster or two or ten and crank out my Legal Methods Brief. I should probably go for a walk at least, the afternoon sun is drawing closer to the horizon, and it’s lovely weather for a walk.
It’s been a while since I’ve been like this. Even longer since it’s lasted more than a day. I hope it lasts, but I hope I can keep control. I hope I don’t spiral upward so far that I lose sight of the ground beneath my feet.
I wish there were more people to hang out with, I wish I had a concrete goal.
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Monday, Just After Midnight
Tessa left the new GC without warning and blocked me on Insta, also without warning. No idea why, I toned down the manic spamming from last week by a lot. I’m not sure if I’m gonna sleep tonight, not that I was guaranteed to go to classes anyway considering I have a truly nasty headache. Over the weekend I had an allergic reaction to something or another, which caused something like a sunburn to the left half of my face. I could have pulled off a nice Phantom of the Opera cosplay, assuming I didn’t sing (the Phantom being a tenor role, after all). Marcus and Sarah are still in the chat as of me writing this. Not sure how long it’ll last. I was too energetic last week, too peppy, too frantic, too much. Always too much.
I saw Hannah on Saturday, I took a pilgrimage into the unholy land of New Jersey and we saw Scream 7. Bad movie, no good, unless you made fun of it like we did. We went to IHOP afterwards. On the drive back into Philly someone with a New York plate illegally passed me in the shoulder of the highway, then came to an abrupt stop, almost causing the car behind me to rear end my Forester. That got the adrenaline going. I made some Alfredo for lunch and took advantage of the nice weather today, sitting in the courtyard of Anova. I chatted with one of my classmates who also lives in the building and it was nice.
Maybe it was a mistake to try and remain friends with the people I met through my ex? Maybe? I was feeling good about it until now. I still need to work on my LM brief.
Sierpinski Tetrahedron 