Tuesday afternoon, before I returned to my apartment to grind, I saw blossoms dance in the wind as I sat on the Kline patio, the sun’s warmth and frigid air averaging out to a pleasant temperature. The sight, the sound, the feel, it sticks in my head; it was beautiful. But the breeze stops, the blossoms drift to the ground, and the moment becomes a memory. I’m happy I got to experience it; it made me smile.
Truth be told, my Brief could have used another revision, or two, or ten. But I sent what I sent. I’m excited for Oral Argument because it’s another chance to perform, but I’m dreading it because opposing counsel has to read my brief, which could have used another revision, two, or ten. And a stricter adherence to the CREAC structure, and better theses for each paragraph. But I have a solid theory of the case, and I know I can sell it when I speak. I’m fortunate I have the voice I do.
Fast-forwarding, you can imagine my surprise when my pleasantly hazy melatonin dreams were pierced by the fire alarm’s screech. Thankfully, I had fallen asleep in my street clothes, so all I had to do was slide into some loafers. It was not a drill; this morning, we all received a polite email reminding us not to put tinfoil in the microwave. I overslept this morning, but I managed to abridge my morning routine into the bare minimum (shower, skincare, get dressed) and got to Legal Methods with two minutes to spare. My burgundy/raspberry sweater is now really baggy on me, I noticed. Most of my clothes are now. I can feel the need to exercise in my bones today; I didn’t get the chance to yesterday. I had some chicken and falafel over rice for brunch today, and started on the new season of The Boys (Kripke, 2019-, loosely adapted from Ennis, 2006-2012).
Adveniat regnum tuum. I often wonder about the future. I’m not entirely consumed by the past. I speak of things happening as if they’re guaranteed, like Oral Argument, the Opera, or Finals. But a lot can happen day by day, or even hour by hour. From our perspective, nothing is fixed, nothing is certain. Fiat voluntas tua. Despite the future being a hazy thing, never guaranteed, the field of possible choices isn’t unlimited. Sometimes the “best” option isn’t available; other times, we don’t know which one it is among the options we have. Sometimes we feel we make the right choice, then regret it, but feel like we can’t back away. The presenter for the MHLS event yesterday pointed that out before I had to rush to meet with one of my LegReg assignment groups: even successful lawyers with decades of practice, good money, and a “good life”, it’s common for them to regret deciding to stay in law school and get their JD and pass the Bar. Sicut in caelo, et in terra. The right choice is a cloudy one, always. Our perspectives are limited, as much as it pains me to admit that. I don’t know everything, I don’t know half as much as I ought to, even. But we always have the ability to choose something, and there’s something freeing about that, maybe. The field of possible choices is just as hazy as their consequences, so we can either be paralyzed by that or treat it as an opportunity. Nothing is fixed, nothing is final.
Sierpinski Tetrahedron 